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She smiled, gently touched his lips with her right index finger to stop him from talking. She stared deeper into his pale blue eyes, falling into him, surrendering herself to him, willing him to take her. Suddenly, a pain – a pain like she had never experienced before. She staggered back against the wall behind her, gasping for breath, for dear life. She looked down, saw the knife in her stomach. She felt faint, tired, but now free of pain. She slipped to the floor; looked up at him as death took away her sight.

Peter Austin looked down at the body of the girl in disgust. 'Filthy bitch'. From his pocket he took a pair of latex gloves, pulled them on. He grasped the hilt of the knife, drawing it out of her body. He gently, almost lovingly, lifted her light blond hair, allowing the knife in his right hand to cut the curls. The curls went into a small plastic bag along with the knife; then the latex gloves. He had been careful not to touch anything when he entered her flat, hadn't given her the £50 she had asked for 'some business, dear'. Calmly, he left the flat.

Comments:

Opening: 8
Character(s): 8
Dialogue:
Setting: 5
Plot: 9
Suspense: 8
Ending: 10
Enjoyment: 10

Excellent for a difficult workshop. Who else has dared to attempt it?

Pauleen

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